here goes nothing

November 12 2009 by Kristin at The Kitchen Sink in Uncategorized » 39 comments

You could say I was born to love Thanksgiving being that I was, well, born on Thanksgiving. Or maybe I was born to love eating or cooking or tradition or big family meals or afternoons spent on the couch with the din of a football game in the background. Whatever the case, as it turns out, I do love all these things. Perhaps most of all, I love Thanksgiving. (Yes, for the record, even on the many years when my birthday does not fall on the holiday.) So I suppose it’s a little odd that I haven’t divulged a big fat piece of news to you all, one that has to do with Thanksgiving and cooking and food. Being that it’s nearly mid-November and being that this is a food blog and being that you and I are basically friends because we both like to cook (right?), I really should have let you in on the secret by now.

So, here goes nothing: I’m hosting Thanksgiving.

There. I said it. To be more accurate, Kevin and I are hosting Thanksgiving. Joining us will be his parents, sisters, one sister’s boyfriend and one of his grandmas. There’s the small matter of needing to get our hands on eight dining chairs (let alone matching, functioning dining chairs) before the big event, but that rather significant shortcoming aside, it’s really happening. And I’m all kinds of excited about it. I’ve got grocery lists and dog-earred magazines and schedules and, heck, I’m even allotting a fair portion of my day dreams to this quickly-approaching feast.

But, to be honest, excitement isn’t the only feeling I’ve got. There are other, more sinister feelings swirling around in my gut and, if I’m truthful with you, I’ll admit that they’re probably the reason that I haven’t been trumpeting the Big News here on this site.
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For one thing, the whole thing is making me homesick. Kevin and I agreed when we got married that we’d alternate between our families on Thanksgiving—spending the holiday with my family one year and with his the next year. It’s the only major holiday that both of our families celebrate, so it seemed like a fair solution. Until now, I’ve only spent one Thanksgiving away from my family and, while the food was delicious and the company was perfectly lovely, it just wasn’t the same. My heart wasn’t fully in it and I missed my family–our pattern, our rhythm, our food—much more than I had expected. So, in part, I’m anticipating this this melancholy will mar this holiday too.

And I suppose I’m a little nervous. It’s a big deal, Thanksgiving: it comes around but once a year. Screw it up, and it’s three-hundred-sixty-five days until you get yourself a re-do. If you’re allowed a re-do, of course. To make matters worse, my experience in the bird-roasting department is limited to 3- or 4-pound chickens. I haven’t a clue what to do with a big heritage turkey (though you better believe I’ve been reading up on it). I haven’t made mashed potatoes in months and, would you believe this, I’ve never made a proper stuffing. Gah! This post was supposed to be therapeutic, but it’s only making me more nervous!

If I’m really, really honest, I’ll tell you that I’m probably even a little jealous—that it’s Kevin’s family that will share in this “first” with us. If I’m going to host the holiday, a part of me—not one that I’m proud of—wishes that my own family would be among the guests. I’d hope to have my mom at my hip in the kitchen, telling me what needs a bit more salt, what should go in the oven sooner, rather than later. I’d hope that it would be my stepdad manning the grill, where the turkey will roast, smoking his pipe and sipping his scotch, making my home his home, if only for one day. I’d hope it was my sister slipping me glasses of wine, keeping me sane, making me laugh, sneaking bites of this and that while refusing to cook a thing. I’d hope my grandpa could carve the turkey and my grandma could peel the potatoes and that we could all lean back in our chairs after the meal, hands folded across our swollen bellies, and contentedly sigh.

These aren’t very flattering things to think and write, I know, but I’d like to think they’re all just part of the process that every first-time Thanksgiving host(ess) undergoes. And I’m trying to refocus on the excitement, really I am. In many ways, it’s an awesome responsibility. I’m still a little shocked, I think, that Kevin’s parents actually trust us with the hosting duties, that we’re grown up enough to even offer (lack of a full set of dining chairs notwithstanding). But they did and we are and here’s this incredible chance that’s been given to us to make new traditions, to knit this new family a little closer together, to do things we’ve never done before. So, I hope you’ll indulge me here, while I trot out some recipes in the coming couple weeks that will grace our Thanksgiving table, Kevin’s and mine. For the first time ever.

And about the brioche: this was the first item on my Thanksgiving to-do list. I was all set to bake and freeze a loaf of brioche, stashing it away for the stuffing recipe I’ve got my eye on. If all went well, I was hoping to also use the recipe to make little brioche rolls, which I’d tuck into a napkin-lined basket that would perch on the edge of the dinner table. And, well, all didn’t go well. The recipe was just odd, with its confusing instructions and hard-to-follow organization, and it produced a great tasting but, in my opinion, very undersized, squat loaf (smaller, even, than your average loaf of banana bread). In that respect, I suppose it’s the perfect candidate for cubing into a stuffing filler, but it’s unlikely I’ll be returning to the recipe again. Perhaps brioche and I just aren’t meant to be? I’m hoping that Thanksgiving and I have a different fate.

The recipe for this Brioche Loaf comes from the Martha Stewart Baking Handbook, an otherwise fabulous book. I haven’t found the recipe online, which is kind of my pseudo-guideline for republishing a non-original recipe on this site (i.e., if it’s not already out there on the web, I’d rather not be the one to put it there without permission, especially when, as here, I didn’t adapt the recipe at all). In light of that fact, along with the fact that I was pretty nonplussed with the results (especially considering the effort it required), I’m not going to transcribe the recipe here. If anyone’s got a foolproof alternative recipe, I’d love to know about it!

What about you all? Any first-time hosts? Or have any memorable first-time-hosting stories?

39 comments so far. »
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Whitney says on November 12 2009 at 8:55 pm:

You will do great!!

Last year I offered to cook the turkey for my friend’s vegetarian boyfriend hosted Thanksgiving. I cooked up two pies, stuffing, bought a bird, and loaded up one of those granny grocery shopping carts and took it all up to his apt on the Clark bus. http://whitneyinchicago.wordpress.com/2008/11/28/a-happy-thanksgiving/

It was rather difficult trying to cook the turkey while everyone else would show up with dishes that needed time in the oven and I eventually just cut the breast off to finish it separately and cooked the rest of the bird later. But in the end, the food was delicious, the wine was flowing and it was a great time.

This year I am going to Dave’s parents in PA. His Dad and I are in charge of the meal, and I am very excited.

So long comment short…you will do great! And even if one dish is a flop, just creating your own traditions with Kevin’s family will make the meal.
Half Assed Kitchen says on November 12 2009 at 10:01 pm:

If anyone can do it, you can.
kath the cook says on November 12 2009 at 10:06 pm:

I second Whitney’s “you’ll be fine!” I know it’s scary – but one step at a time. you’ll be so ultra-organized – just let it flow. and remember…the turkey is done when the oven door pops open!! ha, ha

been doing it a long time and it always comes out great. remember, on the gravy (and I hope you’re making giblet) to add different temps to different temps – cold to hot, hot to cold, etc. that’s what prevents lumps. good luck – but you won’t need it!
Gretchen Noelle says on November 12 2009 at 10:08 pm:

I am sure your dinner will be great! I do remember baking my first bird years ago but worse… the ones I bought in Peru came with the head inside along with the feet & liver. Fun. As far as the brioche, I love the flavor and texture of the no-knead brioche recipe. Super easy and super tasty. Worth a try!
Caryn L says on November 12 2009 at 10:21 pm:

I fixed Thanksgiving for my boyfriend (now husband) and three of our friends in college. It was QUITE the experience!! Everything turned out fabulous, but the hens took forever to cook (apparently it helps to take the foil off halfway through the cooking time), the pie melted (apparently you can’t put a whipped pie filling on a crust that hasn’t cooled), and there was a mountain of dishes! But it was a blast! We didn’t have a dining table or chairs, so we took a door off it’s hinges, put it on some cinder blocks and covered it with a table cloth and everyone sat on pillows on the floor =) Try not to stress too much, ask for help (I didn’t), and have tons of fun!!
Flavia says on November 12 2009 at 10:25 pm:

Hi Kristin,

Here is a link to individual brioches I read in a recent issue of Bon Appetit. It sounds time-consuming, but not too confusing. Maybe you can give this a try and see if they turn out better. Dorie Greenspan is pretty spot-on with her baking recipes from what I have only recently come to discover. Good luck!

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2009/10/bubble_top_brioches
Polly Rice Sumner says on November 13 2009 at 12:18 am:

Kristin, I think you did inadvertently let us know at one point earlier that you are hosting (must have been a subtle comment?) because I have been waiting for you to start showcasing your ideas…glad the time has arrived! And Half Assed Kitchen is spot on.
Phoo-D says on November 13 2009 at 7:54 am:

You’ll do great! It is definitely scary and exciting to be hosting the big day. I highly recommend checking out the brioche recipes in “The Bread Baker’s Apprentice”. About 200 people that are cooking through the book have made them already and it seems to be a bulletproof recipe. I loved ours.
Bri says on November 13 2009 at 8:22 am:

I’m sure it’ll be wonderful! If anyone can do this it’s you!

I’m hosting my first Thanksgiving this year too and reading your post just made me more nervous! I’ve made mashed potatoes recently so I’m feeling ok there and my sweet husband went out and bought me a roasting pan and a “practice turkey” a few weeks ago. So I’m relatively ok there, but the stuffing is going to be uncharted territory. I’ve stuffed chickens before, but my mom’s stuffing is pretty phenomenal and will be hard to live up to! Add on all the other sides and the pies and such and I’m starting to freak out a bit. Time to break out the lists!
diane says on November 13 2009 at 8:27 am:

The brioche looks like it will be perfect for stuffing.I’m so proud of you both for taking on the holiday and know you will do it with the usual grace and charm that you always show your guests.You also must know we will miss you and think about you and Kevin during the whole holiday. Love, MOM
Lindsay says on November 13 2009 at 9:15 am:

Last year was my first Thanksgiving….It all went well, but I dropped the turkey on the floor..those suckers are slippery. But luckily my guest had not yet arrived! So that’s just my little secret
Christine says on November 13 2009 at 9:38 am:

Not a food question but was wondering what camera you shoot with?
KellyB says on November 13 2009 at 10:09 am:

I know just how daunting the prospect of hosting Thanksgiving for the first time, and for your inherited family, is…. Sean and I are hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year, too.

I didn’t grow up eating turkey for Thanksgiving (my mom made chicken instead), so I’ve given Sean the task of the turkey. Sean’s the carnivore of the house, and meat-cooking activities tend to fall to him.

I, however, can do side dishes all day long, so I’m on tap for my late mother’s mashed potato recipe, and a broccoli casserole fitting for the Upper Midwest, and hoping to get a good loaf of homemade bread or rolls made. I have recipes for the 1st 2 in that list, but nothing yet for rolls.

I should get on that, since we’re going to Puerto Rico on vacation for a long weekend and get back 3 days before the big day!

I’m fortunate, though, that my in-laws are gracious, and would eat anything we put before them…. but I want them to be able to relax (something they don’t do often) and enjoy the day. I’m nervous because I want them to have a nice time, not because they’ll be judging my every move.

Good luck, and I can’t wait to read your posts leading up to Thanksgiving and your report afterward!!
Dawn in CA says on November 13 2009 at 10:48 am:

Your first Thanksgiving – Yay! Well, the first one you are cooking, anyway. No worries, seriously – you will do just fine. For what it’s worth, here are a few things I’ve learned since my very first self-hosted turkey day. First and foremost, remember that your mom, stepdad, etc. are just a phone call away. No reason they can’t offer advice and encouragement when needed, and/or share in your triumphs. Second, think about making the turkey the same way your family always makes it. That way, stepdad can offer help (via telephone, natch) and you’ll have a little piece of “home” to enjoy during dinner. Third, make two very different kinds of stuffing (cornbread and sourdough, for example). It’s one of the easiest dishes you’ll make, and trust me, people will love you for it. Lastly, if someone offers to make something (dessert, appetizer, etc.) LET THEM. It’s hard to let go of the controls, I know, but you’ll have enough to do.

Oh, one more thing… step out of the kitchen a few times before the feast, enjoy a glass (or three) of wine with your loved ones, and HAVE FUN! It will be great, I promise.
Sara says on November 13 2009 at 11:53 am:

i appreciate how honest you are. best wishes to you on new stories you are writing with your life with Kevin. My sister would be doing the same thing, my favorite part!
Barbara says on November 13 2009 at 12:17 pm:

You’ll be fine. Don’t sweat it. Turkeys are easy, It’s organizing the side dishes that takes time. Try to do as many in advance as you can- make simple appetizers- almonds and olives are easy.
I freeze a sweet potato dish every year and actually freeze my cranberry sauce- things like that make life easier on Thanksgiving day. You can even make your gravy in advance. Don’t worry about matching chairs either- just make sure they will hold someone. You’ll do fine. Easy to say I know, but I’ve been doing this a lot of years and even if there are mistakes (we all have them) your family will love everything you’ve done.
Courtney says on November 13 2009 at 3:48 pm:

Hi Kristen,

I made Peter Rheinhart (Bread Bakers Apprenctice) brioche and it is wonderful. I’ve made a few times since the first and have never had problems with it. A foolproof recipe indeed. If you don’t have a copy of the book, you might want to check at a local library as it is somewhat pricey (although worth the price in my opinion). Good luck on your Thanksgiving feast and think of this a new tradition and try blending some of your families favorite recipes along with Kevin’s family favorites.
Laura says on November 13 2009 at 4:18 pm:

Good luck! Everything you make is beautiful. Haver you tried Dorie Greenspan’s brioche recipe? If you don’t have it and can’t find it on the web (though I think the Daring Bakers did it), I’d be happy to pass it on.
StephieLou says on November 13 2009 at 5:21 pm:

You sound exactly like me about 7 years ago. Sad to say missing your family never really goes away. So I have a new tradition: I get through the hosting the in-law (who are lovely as ever but just not mine) then sneak away to call my sisters and parents – laugh a bit, review our cooking, then end the conversation in tears while letting them know how thankful I am for such an amazing family – even if we can’t snap the wishbone together like we had for the 25 years before I started missing them on the best holiday ever. You will be great and have fun starting some new traditions of your own!
Jen says on November 13 2009 at 5:50 pm:

Checkout “Cookwise” By Shirley O. Corriher. She takes a food science approach to her recipes which are generally pretty fool-proof. I recall she had 2 brioche recipes in there. Give it a try before giving up on brioche all together!
Karen says on November 13 2009 at 7:13 pm:

You are going to make an amazing feast!

My boyfriend and I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my family a couple of years ago. We tend to cook one-dish meals most of the time, so we were worried about how to get so many different dishes ready to serve at the same time. To address the problem, we made a spreadsheet plotting out exactly what each burner and each oven rack and each counter space would be used for at intervals of time leading up to dinner… we were teased about it all day (and, ok, we still get teased about it), but it worked!
Nic says on November 13 2009 at 8:22 pm:

Oh Kristin, I’m sure you will do better for your hubby’s family than I did for mine. I didn’t actually get to “host” my first Thanksgiving. Instead, we traveled 5 hours with all the fixin’s and I cooked in the m-i-l’s kitchen for reasons that are far too detailed to discuss here. The summary was this: An anemic looking bird, the “wrong” dressing (we didn’t actually stuff the bird, and as dinner progressed I learned that his family only likes cornbread dressing; whereas I had made mine with stale baguettes–quite successfully I thought, but still…oops!), and a soggy-crusted pie filled with still cruncy, yet mealy textured apples. It was a complete disaster…you WILL do better in your attempt than I did in mine!!! I would wish you luck, but I have no doubt that you can pull this off with flying colors. And about missing YOUR family…I understand wholeheartedly and here is my advice…consider this your trial run and then do the real thing with even greater success next year with your mom, stepdad and sister there to coach, roast and besto, as it should be. Sorry for the long post but Happy Turkey Day anyway.
Kate Each says on November 14 2009 at 8:00 am:

Kristin- Your site is amazing! I love it and read it all the time. Thank you for such amazing posts. This last entry was so honest and the thoughts and feelings are so real for us newlyweds. Beginning to share holidays is a hard pill to swallow. So nice to read that someone else feels the same way!! I almost teared up! Too much

Good luck with your feast…I know it will be incredible!

Best,
Kate
Elizabeth says on November 14 2009 at 2:53 pm:

Wow! I have been looking for a bread recipe for brioche for awhile. Yumm. Good luck for your thanksgiving.
EngineerMom says on November 15 2009 at 11:51 am:

I hosted my first Thanksgiving in Cambridge.

As in England.

I was visiting an American friend who was there for a year on a scholarship. We had an absolutely hilarious time hunting down ingredients for an American holiday in foreign (though English-speaking) country. We opted for a boneless turkey breast to accomodate her apartment’s teeny weeny oven. We ended up baking 12 pies because the only tins we could find were so small they made 3 pies out of my mom’s one-pie pumpkin pie recipe. We tried in vain to find buttermilk for a family staple – buttermilk pie, so I tried to make them out of sour milk with limited success. My family’s stuffing involves cornbread, so we ended up at an “international food store” to buy the cornmeal and the pumpkin for the pie (at outrageous prices, of course!).

It was semi-potluck for all 14 international students in my friend’s program, so in addition to the more traditional items, we had some very interesting cross-cultural things like fried Chinese dumplings and real Italian wine from a tiny vineyard that doesn’t export to the US.

My only advice – relax and enjoy the ride. It’s always hilarious, and the stories will be awesome!

~ Liz
Kitchen Butterfly says on November 15 2009 at 1:40 pm:

Ditch the Brioche and make and Apple tray bake (yoghurt batter in a butter and almond mealed tray/shallow tart tin, top with sprinkling of almond meal and then lay apples – beautifully ; add chopped pecans and a sprinkling of sugar and bakt to golden deliciousness. Serve with custard, creme fraiche or on its own….forget the Brioche I say!
Andrea says on November 15 2009 at 2:34 pm:

Kristin, I have no doubt that your first hosted Thanksgiving will be fabulous! My husband and I have hosted two now, one for family and one for friends, and while neither were perfect they were both so much fun and left us feeling very proud of what we accomplished.

And I saw that menu you published earlier…it looks wonderful! You have a great eye for recipes.

Good luck! I can’t wait to read all about it!
Mimi says on November 15 2009 at 5:13 pm:

You’ll do great. Do as much in advance as you can and remember that it all about the people. If you are relaxed and having a good they will too.
Mimi
Chiara says on November 15 2009 at 6:08 pm:

Ha, I loved this post. I’m a food writer for the local newspaper and I have just written an article that is running this Wednesday about the first Thanksgiving I hosted three years ago (and what I’ve learn NOT to do!!!) I still insist on hosting it all the time, and I love it. It’s a lot of work, but I find it rewarding. And by the way, your bread looks delicious!
Heather says on November 16 2009 at 11:32 am:

You will do just fine –

Thanksgiving is about family, friends, and hospitality – not on everything being perfect.

One year, while I was in graduate school and too far away from home to join my family for Thanksgiving, my roommate and I decided to have an “orphans” Thanksgiving and invite all those graduate students who had no other plans to our cramped apartment for the holiday. As it happened, nearly all of the guests were foreign (and not altogether familiar with the holiday), and my roommate’s grandmother died.

So I ended up hosting a dozen strangers (to me, and to one another) alone in our little apartment. And it was probably one of the most fun Thanksgivings that I’ve ever had.

So embrace the experience! This is a tradition building event!

Heather
Dolce says on November 16 2009 at 11:46 am:

Consider the turkey to be a very big chicken and follow the instructions you find on oven temperature + lenght of cooking. You’ll be fine. Especially if you show a great bioche loaf like this at some point
Kristin at The Kitchen Sink says on November 16 2009 at 12:12 pm:

Wow. You all sure know how to make a girl feel better and braver and inspired and much more excited about this impending holiday. Thank you all for your kinds words and for sharing your stories.
MommyAmy says on November 16 2009 at 2:16 pm:

Yup, I’m first time hosting this year. I haven’t written about it on my blog either, kind of pretending it’s not really happening… lol

Good news, my mom has a turkey in her freezer she’s going to let me have. I’ve got most attendee’s signed up for bringing various side dishes, including desert, so that’s pretty much covered. So I just have to do the turkey, and dinner rolls, and (you reminded me) cranberries… and possibly some other things I’m not yet thinking of. I just keep telling myself that Thanksgiving is about spending time with your family and being THANKFUL for what you have, not being uptight and wiggly about what you don’t have. So if I forget something or don’t make something quite right, oh well. And anyone who voices complaints will just get a big fat lecture from me about starving children in Africa.
ingrid says on November 17 2009 at 8:46 am:

You can do it! I’m sure of it! I’ve been reading your blog for a while and have seen many, many amazing creations come out of your kitchen.

I’ll be anxious to hear about how well it went for you!
~ingrid
Lisa (dinner party) says on November 18 2009 at 3:57 pm:

I’m a Thanksgiving baby too AND am hosting dinner this year for the first time as well! Can’t wait to see what you made. I know it will be wonderful. Deep breath!
Kristin at The Kitchen Sink says on November 18 2009 at 8:06 pm:

MommyAmy: Well said. And I’m filing away the lecture. You know, just in case.

ingrid: Thank you! I’ll be sure to do an “aftermath” post. : )

Lisa: Happy birthday month to you! AND best of luck to you. Off to take a few more deep breaths …
LilSis says on November 19 2009 at 10:41 pm:

After reading your blog for some time now, I’ve always been impressed with your recipes and I’m sure that you and your husband will be amazing hosts.

I do remember a gazillion years ago though being nervous when I first hosted Thanksgiving for my in laws.

I think the key is to not worry about everything being perfect. Just being with family is so important. I totally understand though that it also makes you miss your own family.

My sisters birthday is the 26th which falls on Thanksgiving Day this year and she will be celebrating in Texas while I’m out here in California. It’s just not the same when you can’t all be together, but I’ve had to deal with it for some years now.

Last Christmas we were all alone out here so this year we’ll be spending Christmas in Chicago with all my husbands family and our grown kiddos! (But I’ll still be missing my family in Texas.)

Good luck!
Molly says on November 19 2009 at 11:28 pm:

I’ve been in denial that we are hosting our first turkey day too, until now! Good thing I have your menu to copy! Next year we’ll all be at Rascal’s again, and it will feel juuuust right. Until then, gobble gobble (insert turkey noise). Miss you! xx
Joshua says on November 20 2009 at 4:34 am:

I’m sorry I missed your post when you first wrote it. I’ve been coming to your site for awhile now and enjoy everything about it from the anecdotes to the photos to, of course, the food. Some recipes from your site have become “keepers” for me and my family.

To get to the point, Thanksgiving is about family. My first time hosting was about 3 years ago. I had just bought a tiny little house with a tiny little oven. I’m not sure what my inspiration was (you understand how much strain time and stress put on memories), but my oven wasn’t in the calculations at all. I was freaking out because I got the bird home and was getting ready to put it in the oven. It did NOT fit!! I couldn’t believe it.

Luckily I live very close to some big chains, so I drove and bought an electric roaster. The turkey turned out so great that that’s the way I prepare it every time I make turkey. I even got some surprised, “that’s the best turkey I’ve ever eaten!” remarks. Everything worked out, as it always does, the way it’s supposed to. Just try to focus on the happy accidents.

Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving…